Good grief! Is nothing sacred to these men from the bush? Next they’ll be wanting total honesty and transparency from all politicians. And then where will it end? People nodding off in the public gallery during question time? ABC ratings plummeting? Journalists laid off? Street violence by bored citizens? No sirs; you go too far. We must be entertained!
Since the Independents are calling the shots anyway, why not a lateral solution? Make the independents the government, and cram the other 144 into the cross benches. They’d have to get on then.
When I grow up I want to be an Independent.
Julia Gillard, and those chiefly responsible for her elevation to the party leadership, could belatedly recover the respect of many Labor voters with a simple transparent acknowledgement of how Kevin Rudd’s removal may have looked to the watching electorate. We’ve heard the rationale, the justification, the theories about the polls, the leaks and the collapse of the Rudd brand. But we also watched the sudden clinical disintegration of a very public partnership, if not indeed a friendship, a hastily rewritten script, and the tearful public humiliation of a respected, if frail, leader. And in our hearts we said: “Something just isn’t right.” The collective numbness was palpable. And so we were left with questions about loyalty, trust, humanity and the folkloric “fair go”. The answers do not lie in more spin.
That, I suspect, is why many ordinary people voted differently.
It’s still not too late to save Election 2010 from total failure as a source of all-age family entertainment. The solution lies in the animal kingdom. Why has no one considered a more prominent role for the worm than the humdrum of listening to a rare and forgettable TV debate? If an Octopus with a yawn of a name like ‘Paul’ can attain stardom by predicting football results, what might be possible for a worm named ‘Bob’ (no less exciting than ‘Paul’, surely) predicting a federal election outcome? Who needs the likes of the ABC’s Anthony Green?
And then there’s the unsolved mystery of the ALP leaks. Someone should check out Bob’s alibi on that one. A whole weekend’s reading right there.
Then there’s the ubiquitous Mister Rabbit, who has Julia so rattled. Alice to the rescue. The real question: Is it really the White Rabbit, or could it be the March Hare?