Posts Tagged melbourne
Indigestion
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 27 July 2010
Metro’s Twitter feed must be one of the least digestible reads in Melbourne. I literally cannot recall a day since subscribing when there hasn’t been at least 2 or 3 tweets about delays on one or more train lines, usually due to a failure in some component of the transport network’s worn out infrastructure. Now we’ve the had the “morning from (transport) hell”, and if anyone’s surprised it won’t be the longsuffering commuters who subscribe to transport updates.
Now would be a very good time for Messrs Brumby and Pakula to come clean. Please, no more spin, fudging or blame shifting. Let’s have some straightforward transparent honesty. Something like “We admit that we and our predecessors, left and right, have failed to invest in public transport. It won’t be a quick fix, but if elected … ” Who knows, it might even win some votes on shock value.
Pardon our regress
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 29 April 2010
If Metro must rewrite their contract, I’m happy to serve as an English language consultant. Fortunately I won’t be requiring public transport during evenings next week. A Metro notice in The Age (29/4), oddly headed “progress”, informs me as follows:
Myki music
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 19 March 2010
The Comedy Festival could hardly be more timely. With a little creativity, even the Brumby government could still get Melbourne commuters chuckling .. and maybe even voting too.
I propose “Myki – The Musical”. To save a quid state cabinet members could sing the roles themselves. They’ve been so off key lately, no one would notice the mistakes. And at least we’d be entertained. Here are some seed thoughts to get things moving:
• Opening scene: John Brumby attempting to touch on, only to find his Myki account $350m in the red.
• enter Steve Bracks (guest appearance), Octopus card in one hand, Oyster card in the other, singing “We did it our way”.
• backdrop: a series of ghostly black and white video clips of Peter Batchelor, Lynne Kosky, Jean Ker Walsh and Claus Jensen (carrying a bulging money bag) – all played in an endless loop.
• closing scene: Martin Pakula tries to touch off, tries again, gives up, and uses a Metcard.
The show could be performed live at Fed Square, and beamed to screens on station platforms. A gold coin donation from every frustrated traveller should see Myki in the black. After the show we all have a good laugh. Then the premier buys drinks and brings back the connies.
Locked out
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 16 March 2010
If Myki is my key to Melbourne, then I need a locksmith urgently.
Up the poll
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 11 March 2010
Once again there are no winners in the perpetual blame-shifting merry-go-round of Melbourne public transport. If either the government or Metro’s executives are genuinely surprised at the system’s continued failure, then things are even grimmer than we thought.
But that’s not the only worry, if truth really matters. Mr Brumby’s blaming of the operator of the day for the inherent failures of the chronically neglected state-owned hardware, is nothing if not entirely predictable. But with such systemic obfuscation, the last thing we need is the kind of media hyperbole which claims that 69% of Age readers “believed Connex had run the train system better.” (The Age, 11/3) As it is, the value of these unvalidated tabloid-style “polls” is doubtful, and certainly not this paper’s finest contribution to public discourse. But a negative answer to the question “is Metro running a better rail system than Connex?” (Poll, 9/3) does not yield the above conclusion.
Whether a failure of basic logic, or just plain sloppy, please spare us such “insight”. Just two certainties remain: The travelling public are being played for mugs again, and truth is the casualty.
Still in transit
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 26 June 2009
So we’re going to get a more reliable system, more services and greater punctuality, with the same infrastructure, same public investment and Myki? Looking forward to it, John.
More pedals
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 13 March 2009
Better parking
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 3 December 2008
Don’t bring us a shrubbery
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 17 May 2006
In addressing “hazards such as poles and trees near roads” (The Age, 17/5), I hope that the state government’s transport initiative will address one ubiquitous and often-overlooked suburban hazard. Councils across Melbourne seem obsessed with the practice of decorating roundabouts with shrubs. The aesthetic appeal of this practice is undeniable, but the traffic safety implications are diabolical, especially at major intersections during peak periods. The landscape engineers exhibit impressive skill in selecting vegetation of just the right height to obscure car indicator lights. Spices up the daily grind no end, but not good for the ticker.
Transport terror
Posted by eN0ch in Letters, Politics and society, The Age on 13 November 2005
Please Mr Batchelor, don’t change anything about our public transport system. Especially not before the games. It’s Melbourne’s strongest line of defense in the war on terror.
Unpredicatble timetables, signal faults, train cancellations, trams stuck in traffic, buses that never come, failed connections, uncooperative ticket machines, trains too full to board, mechanical breakdowns, frustrating delays, feral inspectors. And the sheer impossibility of coordinated rendezvous or planned excursions.
The terrorist bombers won’t have a hope.